I want to write a letter, to my sweet baby girl, in the midst of this ever changing lifestyle that we lead. Why we do the things we do, why we stop at every moment to grab a photo, why she has to sit for an hour in her car seat hearing me say "just another minute". What we are trying to build, and why.
To my Dear sweet Ruby girl....
Finally I get to write a little something to you, like I had set off to do months ago when you were born 11 months and threeish weeks ago. This is for me, as much as it is for you. To remind us both of all the time we spend doing things that you probably don't understand. I don't even understand them at times. But we are adapting, and learning, and praying hard that we are gonna get it right this time.
My dear girl, your Daddy works his brain to much everyday, sometimes seriously, everyday since the day you were born. Overtime almost each and every work week. Nights, weekends, and even a few holidays in through your first year. He missed some times with you, but its all for the greater good. Someday, you'll see why.
Its just been me and you kiddo, sometimes from sun up to sun down and even sometimes after the sun goes to sleep. We've clung to each other. We've cried (oh boy have you cried), we've laughed, we've drifted off to a soft land of sleep if only for a few hours. We tried so hard to figure you out. What you needed, what you wanted. How your little heart ticked. It was a doozy of a first few months here on earth. But here we are. We've kept you alive this long. But dear, you've kept us alive as well.
Through this all, I've finally learned why your grandparents worked the way they do. Grandpa has always worked for himself, and Grammy gave up her job early in my life. For me. Grampy worked as many hours as he could, for as long as he could, so he could give me and Grammy the world on a string. He could take time to take me on a trip for my birthday every year. He could go to work in the shop out back, so that I could hang out with him. Grammy left her job, so that it was her that was with me when I woke up, and when I went to sleep. She was there to pick me up from school everyday, and drive me to every ball game I played in. She was always there. It was all for the greater good.
So my sweet girl, stopping at the perfect spot with flowers on our walks, in front of every good mirror in the store, in the middle of you pulling out every piece of laundry or product from the shelves,... just to take a photo, is for a purpose. When you play at my feet underneath the computer desk while I type, when you sit in your car seat while I give someone a wax, when you watch sesame street for the extra few minutes while I'm finishing up makeup at a photo shoot, when random people hold you while I finishing checking them out and changing my sheets... its all for the greater good.
Your Mama is an esthetician, a makeup artist, and an aspiring beauty blogger. Your Mama works to make other women understand how beautiful they are. Your Mama wants everyone to see they things that other people see in them. Your Mama is doing all this, so that some day, you will see that in yourself too. Because, you are beautiful, little girl. Tell yourself that everyday, in between the times that you are getting sick of hearing us say it. Never forget a word of it. Its all for the greater good.
Hang in there,... get ready for even more cameras in your sweet little face and more hearing clicks of this keyboard. Get ready to read some not so perfect grammar (don't tell your daddy). Were gonna document this beautiful little (but so big) life that we have. Were gonna make every woman radiate with courage. Let do this, baby!
I love you with every inch of my being.
Your Mommy.
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